i was actually in a very bad mood throughout it, without a reason.

i cant help but to feel bad in whatever thing i do. i just dislike doing every single thing i did but as usual, we dont have a choice but to go through the day faking a smile.

n when i turn to some of my closer frens - online or in real, nobody seems to care. seriously, this is not a complain post, i understand everyone has their own life n they face difficulties in life too n no one is obliged to give u extra attention, that is totally understandable n acceptable.

so the only thing i did in the past week was ... sleeping very very late, like 3 - 4am everyday. n then i got very very tired in the day time waking up around 815am. it doesnt make me feel any better n it in fact make me feel worse. feeling tired n cranky all the time, how can things be worse, right?

it is almost like self torturing right? but seriously, i kinda enjoy doing it. no particular reason, just that i kinda enjoy doing it. then in the morning, fake the face again. when the night comes, i sit quietly alone until very very late hours, spend some time thinking about things....

hmm... maybe i should do it again this week.

Current Music : Mika Nakashima - FAKE